My Friend's Wedding - An Eventful Evening!

Life is full of surprises. Take for instance, the marriage of my friend I recently attended. It was without doubt the grandest of weddings that I had ever been invited to.

The marriage hall was located at riverside, in full view of the ever-shrinking and sad river. But who pays attention to such details as riverside resort sans river; especially when the venue oozes of a thousand colours. To describe it as 'Gaudy' would be an understatement here. The first thing that caught my attention was the bright Magenta coloured carpet which was spread all over the place. The next conspicuous thing were the multi-coloured chairs nicely arranged in perfect rows, one after another.

As I passed through the passage, towards the stage where the bride and groom were seated in more of a throne kind of an arrangement, I noticed the Magenta coloured roses hung all around the stage with Marigold in contrast. Perhaps, the word sombre did not feature in the dictionary of whoever designed the venue. I moved forward to go on to the stage to congratulate the lucky couple. But as luck would have it, before I knew anything, I was down on my back, flat on the platform. I never knew I was capable of somersaulting at a wedding full of 300 guests! The first thing that hit me was whether my makeup was alright; I had taken a full one hour to get dressed for my friend's grand occasion. This stupendous effort of face-painting and hair styling should not have met this fate…down in dirt.

  

I was clad in a light Blue sari with Navy Blue border. I had no choice, as half of my wardrobe is full of Blue! Is there any surprise then that blue is my favourite colour? …and this sari, my most favourite of them all! While I was still down, trying to regain my composure, I noticed a small nail beside me. Shrugging aside the thought of any more happenings, I pacified my will. Just then, a kid came running and said, “Aunty, your sari is torn at your bums”. As though it was not mortifying enough for me to have performed such a feat, right on the stage, attracting 300 pairs of eyes in pure amusement and two privileged pairs of eyes in pure shock, my bum had now started smiling as well, ah what luck! I managed to pull myself up with the help of a hand; only later did I realise that he was a waiter who must have been double my age. (How I wish some prince charming had offered his hand.)

I quickly covered my dignity with the elaborately embroidered pallu of my sari. I then, mustered courage to go on to the stage and congratulate the extra chirpy husband and the grumpy bride. When I asked Tina why she was looking so sullen? She replied, she badly wanted to pee but just when she was about to leave, somebody would come and hook her to their conversation in which Mr. yap-yap-her husband would most animatedly participate. I somehow managed to call Tina's mother to hold the forte till Tina attended to the desperate call of nature.

As I had already surprised myself enough with one stunt, I thought I would sit quietly with my plate and simply enjoy the Magenta fare that was. I filled my plate with the most attractive looking breads, sumptuous curry and all that was there on the spread that I, for one, had never tasted in my lifetime. I was happy for finally being able to devour all those delicacies there. Just as I sat with my plate, I found myself surrounded by Tina's sister and some of our common friends. All of them were in their best-tip to toe!

I was enjoying the gossip till the topic of 'complexion' arrived. It became all the more irritating when the subject of discussion was me, this time. Thank God! I was number 15 in this line; by the time the other chicks were being discussed, I could at least finish my meal. When it came to me, one girl remarked, “You used to be quite attractive, what happened to you?” I didn't exactly know whether to bask in the glory of my erstwhile attractiveness which, according to the girl, seemed remote now, or whether to crib about my present face. I decided to do neither and test my patience. Just then, another girl added, “Oh! What happened to your face? You have so many pimples budding everywhere. Have you noticed my flawless complexion? I have become peaches and cream.” Before I could answer anything, another dame said, “Have your bosoms shrunk? You used to be quite full up there, in our college days”. As I realised that this time it was I who badly wanted to attend to the call of nature- thanks to the numerous rounds of Coke, I declared, “This is my new style statement-polka dots on ping-pong balls.”